The Buddy System

Women in Tech is just talk to a lot of people. Maybe of a particular gender.

 

It’s like when a professional woman says that there are gender issues in the technology field that need to be addressed, it automatically makes one party the ‘aggressor’ and the other the victim. This is not how this should be interpreted at all.

 

Let’s check the data below.

No alt text provided for this image

Original image here.

What should be an open dialogue on obvious gender disparities in the IT world then become ‘discussions’ as:

  • The other gender(s) doesn’t like being labeled as privileged, entitled, favored, or any other nice adjectives – especially if any career benefit they got recently was a passive ‘trickle-down’ from the Buddy System
  • As a woman, you could have gotten the same if you ‘tried a little harder’.

“I didn’t know you wanted the position. Why didn’t you ask for it?” Mr. Buddy System

“Why wasn’t it advertised?” Mrs. Not-a-Buddy

You must know of the Buddy System in some form, right? Tag-team to the bathroom, to get ice-cream around the corner, when in the pool – always. Maybe traditionally us as women were using it for ‘safety’ and no so much climbing the ranks.

In the IT professional world, the Buddy System has many names. You may have heard of:

 

  • Alliances
  • Past Student Associations
  • Old Boys/Girls Club
  • Drinks after work
  • Online game meet-up

 

Here you find polygamous pairings of people sharing important insider info, forming bonds, and lending a masculine hand to the other (statistically speaking of course). Women should not feel left out. You may have valid reasons why those groups are not a fit for you but there is ample opportunity to form your own for career-minded women like yourselves. Buddy Systems are not just for men.

No alt text provided for this image

 

Why the Buddy System Works

The concept of ‘foe’

When these alliances form in the office, if you are in the foe group you may find it harder to access benefits from the ‘friends’. Since birds of a feather flock together, most often than not, as a woman, this could be a point of exclusion for you from great career opportunities. In tech companies the ratio of men to women can be as staggering as 5 to 1 – and the majority often rules.

Friends are those I ‘hang with’

People who feel close to each other want to do things with and for each other. Since most of the top management is most large companies are predominantly male, as a woman you may seem to share less common interests. This could mean less time having Buddy lunches with decision-makers, forming bonds that could grant you a positive referral for a senior post when it opens up.

If a job post is open and no one else knows, is it open?

Outside of having privileged circles of friendship there is being in the right place at the right time. You are more likely to ask a friend you share similarities with to accompany you on a long car ride right? Similarly being close to the ‘circle of power’ can put you in a strategic place to learn the business and the politics of the environment without even being ‘in’. You learn from the informal communication channels what you would not learn from otherwise and this can make you aware of unannounced opportunities so you can be prepared for them.

Let’s face it, not everyone wants to code or compose documents forever. Women, just like men, have the need for career growth and change. Being a woman in technology is exciting now as there is certainly a shifting landscape – but we aren’t there yet. For those of us with some experience and who want to make a move in the field right now, we just have to play our cards ‘right’. Or, as someone told me today, just ask for it.

Maybe I should find a Buddy.

Site Footer