The past weekend my new adopted country celebrated Mother’s Day – I know way behind the rest of the world, but still. It got me thinking about my roles at work and at home and how they intertwine.
I am a mother. Not many people know this because I see fit to separate my home life from work as much as possible. That’s my way. If you choose to have a million photos in your cubicle, and every art project on your desk that’s your way (actually due to security constraints at my job that would be impossible).
Without seeing any of these ‘clues’ though there are many ways to tell when there is a mother in the group. We exude a persona that no matter how hard we try, may just keep reminding colleagues of their own mother – hopefully, this is a good thing. So, let’s look at some of the benefits of having a mother in the office group.
They Manage Risk
Often-times I have to tell my kid, “if you eat all the cookies now, there won’t be any for later”. Simple, rational, truth. Similarly in the office our, ‘think about later’ mentality can help mitigate risk and help find a long term and not just a temporary solution for a problem.
It’s like seeing a child galloping like an antelope through the play park, hair flying and shoelaces untied. You may shout ‘hey slow down’ minutes before they fall – later through tears, they will tell you they didn’t even think they were going that fast!
You can trust a mother’s judgement. Often times it comes from experiences and not just fear.
They Resolve Conflicts
Fighting over cookies at the park and battling for dominance in the office can seem like the same thing to a mother. In one scenario someone wants all the cookies and in the other someone wants to ‘be’ the big cookie. The overall solution is compromise, but sometimes it is not that easy.
Having solved many cookie battles, a mother can sometimes easily size up the situation and see how to best share the cookie, that is, how to merge ideas in such a way that both parties can be happy.
In fact, we may be able to provide valuable insight as to why one person may even deserve the whole cookie – yes there may be tears after.
They Provide Support
I must have kissed away a million tears by now, and a billion are waiting on the horizon. In a tight-knit work environment, we often have to deal with the personal challenges of others. This may include death, failures, successes, and even depression. Battling these issues while having to commit to a 40+ hour work week can be stressful for the individual and those around them.
Having now developed the natural gift for healing cuts and scrapes, a mother can –without prying of course – provide additional support to a colleague in need. In fact, there are many times where I have observed subtle behaviour changes in others and can reach out with a small note of encouragement or even a cookie without asking/or caring what the issue may be.
Sometimes changing a frown upside down is all a mother needs.
Now, of course, there are two sides to every coin.
- Be careful that you do not overstep your boundaries.
- Do not exude the momma-bear dominance in the office as this may breed resentment and many other feelings that may have nothing to do with you.
- Treat every person with respect and remember though having kids may help how you interact with others – your colleagues are not your kids.
- Especially as a professional woman recognize when you are on the job and when you are at home.
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